To Luang Prabang by boat …

Today did not start well. I awoke at 3.30am feeling distinctly under the weather. We were due to rise, in any event, at 5:15am as we had to depart early for the border between Thailand and Lao and to pick up our boat which was due to leave at 09:00 hours. I awaited the appointed hour and rose. Following my ablutions and packing I felt decidedly worse. I was extremely dizzy and felt very nauseous. The dizziness was so bad that I could neither stand nor walk without aid. However, knowing that we had a tight time schedule to meet, I proceeded to the hotel reception to settle the room bill in readiness for our 06:30am departure. Once there I met our guide who would be taking us to the border and, since I could not stand to greet her, mentioned that I was feeling a little under the weather due, I was fairly sure, to the anti-malaria tablet that I had taken yesterday. Uncle Bulgaria and Madame Cholet arrived to find that my state had deteriorated somewhat and that I was now shaking in addition to my dizziness and nausea. The decision was taken that, rather than make our scheduled departure, we would visit the local hospital instead.

The entire party were incredibly tolerant as I knew that this would cause a delay which might not be acceptable in Lao and, off we went to the hospital. I was seen immediately by a nurse, (not something one would experience in the UK), and a doctor attended within minutes. He took various measurements of blood pressure, temperature, weight and others and then looked at the anti-malarial tablets that I had taken. It appears that I had had a pretty bad reaction to the tablets! The doctor asked why I was taking them and, when I told him we were on our way to Lao, he was surprised saying that there is no malaria in the areas of Lao we are visiting! He told me to stop taking them immediately and to tell the rest of the party to stop taking them too! So, having given me some anti-vertigo tablets, some re-hydration drink and some ‘power’ to quell the nausea, we eventually left for Lao – some 90 minutes later than planned! Never again will I take those evil tablets!

Border Control into Laos

I can’t tell you very much about the journey from Chiang Rai to Chaing Kong at the border, I slept for the majority of the journey! Great Uncle Bulgaria says that he wasn’t keen on the driver and it wasn’t a lot of fun but all I can really say is that it took around two hours and when we arrived at the border things were all a bit skewed! We passed through the Thai border pretty uneventfully, it was just a few rubber stamps and we were out. We then got a shuttle bus, (this seems the only way to do it), which took us on the three kilometres across a bridge, (which is apparently new, but more on that in a moment), to the Lao border. Now, Great Uncle Bulgaria and I had already downloaded and completed Lao visa on arrival forms for all of the party, so it was with some confidence that we approached the window. Our confidence was misplaced! The forms, it transpired, were a good start, but not the end of the story. We then had to complete another form with exactly the same information that would be stapled to our passport. Great Uncle Bulgaria was a bit grumpy about having to do this, but we thought it best that he kept his thoughts to himself!

Once the appropriate forms were completed, we queued again and handed them in. These were inspected, (actually I think we could have written anything on the forms!), and duly taken with the original forms and our passports and passed to the official who does visas. He subsequently decided if we were to be let in and passed our passports to the man who stamps them. He stamps them in batches and watches television in between, but when he has stamped the visa he passes it to the man who passes them to the man who collects the money. (This middle man seems to have the most important job – he takes passports from the man on his left, does nothing with them and passes them to the man on his right!) Eventually, you wait for your name to be called and then queue up to pay your $35 US. The man takes your money and you are through! The whole process only takes about an hour!

Tuk Tuk on the way to the Port

Having passed through the border control and into Lao we set about the next part of our trip. According to our instructions we were to take a small boat across the river where we would meet up with our guide and the big boat that would take us on down the river. What they didn’t tell us was that we would need to get a Tuk Tuk, complete with all of our luggage, to the port. The port transpired to be several miles away and the price of 400 Baht which we originally thought was outrageous turned out to be very good value indeed! When we arrived at the port, (I use the term relatively loosely – it is actually a muddy bank with some boats tied up), there was some confusion. There were no small boats, only bigger boats and various people were trying to sell us tickets for the ‘slow boat’, but eventually a man turned up and asked if we were looking for ‘Buffalo tours’. We said that we were and were showed to a boat. The only problem being that nobody spoke English and I hadn’t been in the country long enough to crack Lao as a language! It transpired that we were waiting for our guide. He eventually turned up, (his name, just to confuse, is Lao), and explained that since they finished the bridge, (the one we got a shuttle bus across), the instructions have been different and that he meets us after we have cleared immigration and drives us directly to our boat. He had been there since 08:00 this morning!! We didn’t know this, of course, and had merely acted on the instructions that we had.

On the way to the Port

Having departed on our cruise down the river Mekong, we are accompanied by one boat Captain, one cabin boy, (presumably his name is Roger!), one cook, (it turns out she is the Captain’s wife), and our guide. The weather had improved since leaving the border and, for the first time since getting to Thailand, the sun shone – it is true that we had rain on the way, but then the sun came out. The Mekong river is at the very heart of Lao and originates in Tibet, passing through southern China, Myanmar, Thailand, Lao and finally Cambodia. It is 4,900km long and, apparently some 80% of the Lao population live on its banks and earn their livings either from it or supporting it! (Anyway, this is Captain’s Log stuff so I shall leave it there!)

Did I mention, dear reader, that Great Uncle Bulgaria has been having trouble with his hearing? Or, more accurately, everyone else has been having trouble with his lack of hearing! Something I meant to mention, this was exacerbated on Monday when he went for a swim in the pool in Bangkok. Came out saying, ‘shit, shit, shit, shit’, (actually he was almost shouting it, but he had no idea!), I have gone deaf! Now, clearly this was not entirely accurate on two counts; one, I have been threatening him with an ear trumpet for some time now and two, he couldn’t have gone deaf after one swim. What had happened, it became apparent, was that he had got a blocked ear. Apparently this had happened before when on holiday elsewhere. This did serve to make the whole hearing situation worse than normal. An example of which is as follows:

Our Boat!

We were visiting the temple of the reclining Buddha on the next day. He had been known to mis-hear or mis-understand previously, but this about took the biscuit! We were walking into the temple grounds and the guide told us about the school that is inside the temple. “Oh”, says Great Uncle Bulgaria, “I wonder why they have a puppet school here?” “No”, said I, “it is a public school.” “No!”, says Great Uncle Bulgaria, (in a rather PC World tone of voice, if you know what I mean!), “she said a puppet school.” “I don’t think so”, said I, pointing at the stream of neatly dressed school children who were, at that moment, coming out of the classroom. “You see!”, he exclaimed, “I told you it was a public school!” Enough said …

For lunch on the boat we were blessed with a delicious meal cooked up by the Captain’s wife. She served a soup of chicken and bean, (a local very large bean that apparently grows on a vine and is the size of a small courgette), which Captain Clarke reported was very good. This was followed with a selection of dishes that included stir fried vegetables, deep fried chicken, (not the western style, but very good), curried noodles and rice. It was very good indeed!

Lunch on the boat

The afternoon was spent relaxing on the boat and enjoying the views as we drifted our way do the mighty Mekong. Finally, just before dusk, we reached our overnight stay at the Pakbeng Lodge. We had suites that were lovely but the steps up to them from the river were something of a mountaineering challenge! Madame Cholet sprinted up the first three flights before remembering that she doesn’t do steps well. Captain Clarke shot off as if his life depended on it, (there was our own private bar on our private terrace at the top!), and Great Uncle Bulgaria and myself brought up the rear. We found ourselves forced to make a number of strategic stops on the way to admire the scenery! We have both now decided that the statins are taking their toll because we are both struggling with muscle fatigue which is a known and common side effect. Nothing compared to the side effects of this morning but still very much a consideration!

Sunset at Pakbeng

The Pakbeng Lodge is a beautiful old colonial type residence and it was very comfortable indeed. The meal was a set meal and, whilst good, not a patch on our wonderful host on the boat. I retired early because I was somewhat tired from this morning’s shenanigans and the rest of the party stayed up to watch the stars. I should point out at this juncture that the currency in Laos is the ‘Kip’. I made a short foray to an ATM this evening to draw some cash for emergencies etc. I can now report that I am officially a millionnaire! I drew one million Kip from the ATM, (equivalent to about £80). I am sure I will have trouble spending one million Kip during our relatively short stay in Laos, but it was worth it just to say that I am a millionnaire! Tomorrow is a relaxing day on the boat with approximately nine hours by boat to Luang Prabang. It’s RudyMenTerry!

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