A day of rest!
Our VERY rich Tailor!
Today, our second day in Bangkok, is officially for us, a day of rest. We have a pretty hectic schedule coming up over the next three weeks and we need a bit of ‘R&R’ in advance. Of course, reality is never quite the same as planning is it? Firstly, one should say, that the heat and humidity is quite something! We went out for a walk this morning and discovered that heat and humidity this intense saps your energy. It is for that reason that I find myself in my air conditioned room in mid-afternoon, beginning todays brief account. Well, frankly, that and I need a sit down. I recall being told that Thailand was a particularly cheap place to visit – it appears that that is dependent on whether or not one visits a tailor’s shop with Captain Clarke with the intention of looking, I stress looking, at the possibility of procuring a hand made shirt. It appears that I mis-judged this concept completely. Not, I should stress, that this was Captain Clarke’s fault – far from it. I have to take the blame fully on my own shoulders!
You see, it’s like this … The heat and humidity really are very difficult to live with. And the shops are often air conditioned. We popped into Johnny’s Apparel, (I wonder if he is related to Johnny Walker), to get out of heat and humidity. I firstly suggested that Captain Clarke should see what they had to offer. He found a material that he liked and that started the ball rolling.
Mr Sunil, our Tailor
Somehow, and I am not even sure how, about an hour later I discovered that I had purchased 6 pairs of trousers, (3 for Captain Clarke and 3 for myself), 7 shirts, (3 for Captain Clarke and 4 for myself), and 1 jacket. How did it happen? I have no idea! However, the one saving grace in all of this is that our friendly shop assistant assured us several times that he is honest and that lots of other Bangkok tailors will rip you off, so I’m sure everything is fine! He even went as far as to show us the rolls of material that he would never sell to us because it simply isn’t good enough – when I enquired as to how he had them, he very kindly informed me that he buys them specially just to show his loyal European customers the kind of rubbish that other tailors might offer, so it must be true! Having relieved me of 21,300 Bahts, (just over £400), I decided that I am either a gullible fool, or a wise fellow who has just bought some stunning attire for an absolute bargain! I have consulted my fellow travellers; Captain Clarke is keeping surprisingly quiet, (although this isn’t surprising since somehow I picked up the tab), and Others are confident that we have made wise purchases, (but then since they did too, they would!).
The pool lifeguard
And so, to now. Here I am sitting by the pool discussing the possible sexual status of the pool guard. It is not, my dear reader, that I care two hoots about whether it is a male or a female, but others believe that it is a ladyboy or, at the very least a transvestite. I don’t really care, but it is blatently a lady, (without the boy part), and not any other form of person – despite this being Thailand! The rather friendly and, very helpful, pool attendant, (a completely different job to that of pool guard), has just brought me a tray to work on and lifted my sunbed up to make typing more comfortable. How do I tell him that it has actually made it 10 times more difficult to type and chuffing uncomfortable! Oh dear, the stress, my dear reader, the stress!
The Chao Phraya River
Actually, it has just been said by Others, “this hotel is very good if it wasn’t for the noise”. Now, consider this: we are sitting around the pool of a five star hotel, the sun is shining, people are enjoying the swimming pool and the adjacent river is bustling. Call me old fashioned, but what does it take to please some people?! Actually, let’s be fair, when the longtail boats on the Chao Phraya river rev their engines it can disturb the peace for a few seconds! Hmm! Now, of more note is the mozzies. Sitting by the pool writing this brief report, I suddenly discovered I was being bitten. This shouldn’t come as much of a shock, but a) it is not yet dusk when I would expect the little sods, (excuse my language, but really …!), to come out and b) Others have not informed me of the possibility of being bitten – in fact they have told me that you don’t get bitten in Bangkok. Wrong!!! My legs are alive with bites!!!! I’m going inside!
And so, here I am. Back inside and, having now applied after bite cream, (why on earth didn’t I have before bite cream on?), I am at least more comfortable. Now, where was I? Oh yes, our day of rest. So, having spent a small fortune with the lovely
Others being fitted …
Johnny Apparel and our Tailor, ‘Mr Sunil’, and, having spent an afternoon providing nourishment for the local mosquitos, we went back to Mr Sunil for a fitting. The shirts are fantastic, Captain Clarke’s trousers need a bit of a tuck in an awkward place but are otherwise very good, Others tried their trousers and a small adjustment will have them perfect too, mine alas will have to wait until tomorrow because they have to be tried in conjunction with the jacket. I was happily amusing myself whilst Others and Captain Clarke tried their new garments when two things happened. Firstly, a group of young gentlemen came into the shop and went straight into the back to get changed – it became apparent later that they have ordered garments from Johnny Apparel and, although these weren’t ready, they had borrowed some trousers to visit a local attraction where short trousers, (well these actually looked more like swimming shorts), are not permitted. The only relevance of mentioning this is that one had to keep a very close eye on where Captain Clarke was at all times!
The man is a genius!
Secondly, and of somewhat more significance, was that whilst Others were being fitted Mr Sunil caught my attention with a new design that he was considering offering. I have absolutely no idea how this happened, but before I knew it we left the shop having procured another suite of garments!! This man is either a genius or we are completely mad! (Please don’t answer that last question, we are very sensitive here you know!) Whilst Mr Sunil was totting up our latest account, he produced a local beer each which seemed to soften the blow slightly! Mind you, it needed a bit of softening in my opinion. Captain Clarke once again has three more shirts, (and has repeated the same performance as last time with me picking up the tab!), I have three more shirts and Others have three more shirts and two silk blouses between them. Mr Sunil did recommend a very good Indian restaurant though, which we decided to visit for a small bite to eat after our extravagant shopping.
The meal at the India restaurant was very good. Unsurprisingly, we ordered too much food, but the Naan breads were like they are in India, (as opposed to what you get in Indian restaurants in the UK), and the curries were very good indeed. I know believe however, dear reader, that the owner of this India restaurant was in some way related to Mr Sunil. When the bill came it was, by far, our most expensive meal in Thailand so far!! Having said that, we did have two rather splendid bottles of wine to accompany it and it was recommended by our very rich tailor! It’s RudyMenTerry!
may I lay claim to first refusal to captain Clarkes new Audi which you will undoubtedly have to sell upon return to cover the cost of this holiday, I feel a small mortgage may be required otherwise!