Even the loo roll is ship shape!

This ship is really quite something. The crew on here, mostly either Philippine or Indian, are the most attentive people you could ever wish for. Nothing is too much trouble for them. Every single surface, room, table, chair and anything else you can think of is spotlessly clean and polished. There are discrete crew members all day and all night who walk around sanitising and cleaning everything. It is incredible. We have our own cabin host who is called Warivan who, to contradict what I just said about the crew being primarily Philippine or Indian, is actually Thai. She is so friendly and so attentive it is truly amazing. Nothing is too much trouble. On our second day on board she noticed a stain on our carpet beneath the table. It had evidently been there for a few days and she was mortally embarrassed. We hadn’t even noticed it! She immediately called for a carpet cleaner to attend and clean the stain whilst we were out having dinner. When we got back the stain had gone!

Talking of the crew being attentive, I mentioned in my earlier missive that the entire cruise has been paid for by Captain Clarke’s parents who are celebrating their 70th wedding anniversary. Although the anniversary was in March, the Fred Olsen cruising company have been incredible in arranging for a cake to celebrate the anniversary (presented with all the restaurant staff gathering round and singing ‘congratulations’) to decorating their room and for special drinks and canapés on Sunday evening. Having finished our formal dinner, we went to watch the evening’s entertainment (a violinist who played rock as well as classical music – he was very good but the production was a bit lacking). The entertainment finished at 11.30pm and so we escorted his parents back to their cabin so that Captain Clarke’s mum could slip into some slightly more comfortable clothes and we (the three of us, Captain Clarke’s dad was going to go to bed) would go up to the observation deck for a nightcap. When we opened the door to the cabin, the most incredible sight met us! Rose petals everywhere and the towels sculpted into two swans. It was an incredible sight!

There were flowers too and it was such a touching thought, it was very much appreciated by them and we loved it too. So, Captain Clarke’s mother, Captain Clarke and I toddled off to the Observation Deck which is on the 9th deck of the ship. When we got there we bumped into Captain Clarke’s sister, husband, nephew and his girlfriend. We did know that they would be there, but as it was late, we were only planning on having a quick nightcap before going to bed. We met some fellow ‘cruisers’ who we had a good chat with and, consequently, following our ‘nightcap’, we finally got to bed at 3.30am! So much for a quick nightcap! When we got up the following morning, I said to Captain Clarke that I didn’t think I would survive the cruise if we were going to be up that late every night!

To much excitement on Friday we saw something we hadn’t seen for a couple of days … land! I think that half the people on the cruise had congregated in the Observatory Deck. Fortunately, and purely by chance, Captain Clarke and I were already there so we had front seat views! It was standing room only towards the back!!! This wasn’t our entry to the fjords, but it was land. We would enter our first fjord a few hours later. We picked our way through various rock formations that just appeared from nowhere, past oil rigs being towed out to sea, past fish farms and an ever increasingly steep landscape until we finally reached our first fjord. The first fjord was called Lysefjord. We entered the fjord below a road bridge that was very high up. In a matter of minutes we knew we were in a fjord. The steep mountain walls that formed the fjord were incredible to see.

The scenery in that first fjord was stunning. I would even go so far as to use a word that some (and you know who you are!) are banned from using more than once per day … exquisite! The scenery in these Norwegian fjords is simply stunning. We sailed our way all the way up to the end of the fjord before turning around and sailing back again. That may seem like a pointless exercise but the sights were worth every bit of it! The scenery is simply magical. It is so beautiful and words really cannot describe it.

Our first port of call was on Saturday at a place called Haugsund. Prior to this, however, I should mention our evening meal on Friday. We had decided to eat in one of the speciality restaurants called ‘Colours and Tastes’. It is primarily an asian restaurant offering a mixed menu of Chinese, Thai and Japanese dishes. As is now usual, I had chosen my meal the night before so that they could make any amendments to the recipe. I chose spring rolls with a sweet chilli sauce and crispy chilli beef with an asian salad as a main course. I have to be honest, it was a disappointment. The spring rolls were scoldingly hot but raw in the centre and the crispy chilli beef was neither crispy nor did it have much chilli in it. That was such a shame. Sadly, nobody was particularly happy with their meal which was a disappointment as we had been looking forward to the special meal. Having said that, in the main restaurant, uniquely named the ‘Borealis’, the standard of food is excellent! And when I say excellent, I mean excellent!! They could teach a few five star hotels that we’ve stayed in a thing or two. This is catering on a grand scale. The ship’s capacity is 1,360 guests who are served over two servings. Some will, of course, eat in the two speciality restaurants and others may choose one of the buffet areas, but the rest will be served in two servings in the main restaurant. There is a choice of around six starters, six mains and four desserts (plus cheeseboard or ice cream). The food is always hot, always tasty and always served with an exceptional level of service!

I have attended many ‘gala’ dinners over the years which are generally served to 500(ish) people with a fixed menu. The very mention of a ‘gala’ dinner fills me with dread! I know the food will be cold, served by some spotty teenager who’s doing a bit of work experience and likely to throw the food all over you, and will be tasteless! The catering on board this ship is nothing short of sublime. The service is second to none, the food is exquisite (I get to use that word twice today!) and the whole dining experience is a joy. It is made even more so by the fact that every meal (lunch and dinner) is served with my dietary requirements in mind but never made an issue of and just discretely appears with minor tweaks where necessary. So, back to our cruise, on Saturday we arrived in our first port of call, Haugsund. Haugsund is a small town in south west Norway that seems geared towards cruise liners. Every shop accepts Norwegian Krone, US dollars, British Pounds and Euros! There are a number of bars and restaurants but mainly it is gift shops selling souvenirs. If you look at the photo above, you may well see our ship in the background, that is how close the town is to the port!

Now, returning to Round the Horne, Julian and Sandy had a number of businesses one of which was called ‘Bona Riah’. (There is actually a hairdressers in Brighton called Bona Riah and I am quite sure there are others too). It seems that Julian and Sandy had got to Haugsund before us and setup a barber’s shop. Clearly they toned it down a little for the Norwegian people, so here it is … Julians Barbers Shop! Haugsund was pleasant and nice for a short walk around but at 12 degrees, it wasn’t desperately warm and we decided after a couple of hours to return to the ship.

Hating to cast aspersions but we are beginning to be able to tell we are travelling with people of a certain age. Captain Clarke’s father is 92 years old. For a 92 year old he does pretty well but he does, just occasionally come out with some very odd remarks. As we walked into the town of Haugsunds we happened across a couple of market stalls selling locally ‘handmade’ (they looked pretty machine made to me!) souvenirs such as traditional hats, jumpers and the like. At one particular stall, Captain Clarke’s father remarked, “oh, look at those emus”. As you can see from the above, they were, in fact, Llamas! Not to be outdone, from that point forwards every animal we saw (and there are several statues of sheep, goats and like around Haugsund) was declared as something it was definitely not. For example, when we saw a goat, we all exclaimed, “oh, look at that rabbit!”. It made us laugh!!!

Now, it is a well known fact that whenever Captain Clarke and I go off on some sort of adventure, we always happen across a wedding. Haugsund was no exception! Just before we boarded a shuttle bus back to the port (although as the crow flies it was only about 500m, the actual road route was somewhat longer!) we happened across the inevitable wedding. So, here it is. The bride and groom were just about to be driven away in this Bentley Bentayga. Now, each to their own, but I find this particular car to be about as ugly as they come – and with a starting price of over $200,000 for a very basic model, it definitely needs to find someone to love it!!

Back on board ship, Captain Clarke and I had previously decided to book and eat at the Goan restaurant called Vasco. I had pre-ordered my meal (as always) but didn’t really fancy it. It was the best I could find on the menu when I had been given it on the previous evening. Based on the previous evening’s experience, I showed Captain Clarke the menu and we decided that we would prefer not to eat there but to return to the main restaurant where the food is so good. We had planned it as a special meal to celebrate our 36th anniversary of sharing trips (and life) together but we were happy to go and enjoy the food in the main restaurant instead! We spoke to Guest Services and they were as accommodating as ever. They were quite happy to cancel our reservation, let the kitchen know that they didn’t need to prepare anything specially for me (we did let them know early in the day so that nothing would have been prepared) and invited me to choose from the menu in the main restaurant. I did and did not regret it one bit! Actually, just one small point on food. On Friday traditional fish and chips was on the menu. I didn’t know this when I pre-ordered my lunch for Friday, so when we went for lunch I asked our waitress Mae (we have a dedicated waitress who always serves our table) if I could change and have fish and chips instead. As many will know, traditional fish and chip batter consists of hens eggs (which I am allergic to), flour and milk (which I evidently can’t have!). After some discussion between the waiting staff and the kitchen, the answer came back “of course” and without fuss or drama, when everyone else was served their fish and chips, so was I. The chefs had made, in a separate kitchen, a kind of tempura batter (it wasn’t actually tempura batter but similar) and I had my fish and chips too! What service that is!!!

So, our second port of call, (literally), was in a place called Flåm. Flåm is a village in the Flåmsdalen valley which is located at the inner end of the Aurlandsfjorden, a branch of Sognefjorden. It is famous for its train line which famously winds its way from Flåm to the town of Myrdal where it is possible to get a train to Bergen and other more major Norwegian towns. The line took 20 years to build and is nicknamed the ’20 line’ after its 20km length, the 20 tunnels it passes through and the 20 years it took to build. Flåm is (quite evidently) at sea level and Myrdal is 868m above sea level, so the incline is steep (the steepest being 1:2) and the scenery is, once again, just stunning!

One the way to Myrdal we passed the Kjosfossen waterfall which is a stunning 225m tall with the force of the water (one drop is 93m unimpeded) used to generate hydroelectric power that is used to power the Flåm Railway. At the waterfall you hear the haunting chants of the Huldra which is a mythical creature who is said to lure men into the forest from where they will never be seen again! We visited at a time when there were actors and singers acting out the story of the Huldra and, although we only stopped for 5 minutes on the train, it was enough time to soak up the atmosphere and wonder at the spectacular water fall.

Weather at the top in Myrdal was what might be described as ‘bracing’. I am not sure exactly what the temperature was, but as we walked around to see if there was anything to see (not really) and watched a train come in headed for Bergen where a whole bunch of people from Patagonia got off with cases and boarded the train to go back down to Flåm, it started to flurry with snow so we decided to get back on board the train and wait to pass back down the mountain. It was worth it and we thoroughly enjoyed the trip.

On the way back down the mountain I was able to get a photo of the road up to, or down from, Myrdal. There are 21 hairpin bends in the road and it literally zig zags its way down the mountain. If you look closely at the photo above, it is the road that zig zags its way down the mountain to the left of the waterfall and stream to its right.

I should mention that clientele on this cruise. To put things mildly, myself and Captain Clarke have brought down the average age by a couple of weeks! If one was to carry out a walking stick count or a rollator count, there would be more sticks per square metre than anywhere else in the world. Now, I am not one to criticise but on the train there are screens at each end of every carriage which show information about the journey and some professionally taken photos of the scenery on the way up and down the mountain. As we were leaving the train, one of the passengers (from our cruise) saw one of the photos of the spectacular scenery and turned to her friend and said “here, Ethel, do you think that’s Brugge”! What can you say!! Captain Clarke and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes!

It is difficult to get photos of our ship. We are either on it and therefore cannot photograph it, or when we are off it, it is difficult to get to a place where it can be fully in shot. Most ports have lots of debris and ‘stuff’ around the port which makes it impossible to see fully. Just before we left Flåm, I was able to get a photo of the ship, albeit from the rear (or Aft as we now know it to be!). I hate having to eat my words, but I have to say that after all my concerns, my worries, I am thoroughly enjoying this trip!!!

There will be at least one more missive to come, but for now I have a gin and tonic in hand and I have some beautiful scenery to look at as we cruise the Hardangerfjord before we enter our final fjords before leaving for Southampton again. We have spent today in Ulvik and, of course, there is much to tell, but 3,000 words is enough for anyone to have to read in one go! We have the Maurangerfjord and the Furebergsfossen to do yet and we are promised some even more spectacular views! So for now, we’re cruisin’!