Now I don’t wish to be rude but …

Leaving the comfort of Costa Adeje – yuk Macdonalds!

Captain Clarke and I decided it was about time that we saw what Playa de las Americas is really like. Some have likened it to Benedorm, (on a bad day), but others clearly like it. It is, after all, one of the most popular, (if not the most popular), destinations in Tenerife. In spite of my aching legs and permanent blisters, we decided we would walk there, continuing our walk along the promenade by the beach, and get a taxi back. We departed the hotel in fine fettle and joined the beach promenade. It is actually quite a pleasant stroll along the promenade which stretches all the way from Costa Adeje to Los Cristianos. As we departed the comfort of Costa Adeje, the scenery definitely turned. More and more beach bars with permanent Sky sports and every one with a ‘PR’ person, (that’s what they call them), trying to entice you inside for a ‘pint of beer for 1 euro’ or a ‘cheap cocktail’.

Oh Dear!!!

The nearer we got on our 2 mile walk to Playa de las Americas, the more intense these bars became. Only now and again to be interspersed with tacky gift shops. The state of attire changed too. Gone were the smart shorts and the well ironed short sleeved shirts and in came the football kit, or the vest and nylon shorts. In came the tatoos and the piercings. Some were so prolific that it was difficult to see if there was a real person underneath … and that was just the women!

Surfers on the beach and in the sea

It isn’t all bad. There were some very skilled surfers out in the sea. There are surf schools all the way along this part of the coast and there are clearly some very, very good surfers out there. In fact, we watched one surfer who picked up a wave at one end of the beach and managed to surf it the complete length of the beach before gracefully sinking back into the water. There were clearly others who were on lesson 1 however! Having reached Playa de las Americas, we were then chatting about the fact that Captain Clarke had been to Tenerife many years ago and had stayed in an apartment block between Playa de las Americas and Los Cristianos. We decided to walk on a little and see if we could spot it.

Playa Vistas

It turns out that there is quite a distance between Playa de las Americas and Los Cristianos. There is a large beach in between called Playa Vistas, (although I have to confess to not being able to ascertain why this particular vista was different). It transpires it is about two miles! We did see the apartment block and Captain Clarke commented that he hoped that they had refurbished them since he was there because they were pretty rough when he was there, (and that was over 30 years ago!). Captain Clarke also pointed out that when he was here previously all around the apartment block was just scrubland – not even any roads. Now it is very densely built up with hotels, shopping malls and restaurants.

For some reason that I am completely unable to explain, we ended up walking all the way to Los Cristianos, (which is definitely a step or six above Playa de las Americas, but I wouldn’t equal it to Costa Adeje), where we stopped and had a bit of lunch. The food wasn’t very good to be honest and the service left a lot to be desired. Having paid the bill, we came to the rather unfortunate matter of the tip. One always leaves a tip here, but a) it hadn’t been great and b) I only had a €20 note. I had a few small coins though that wouldn’t have amounted to more than about €1. I left these. To leave such a small tip in Spain is considered to be an absolute insult – worse than leaving no tip at all – but I’m afraid I won’t be going back there and I felt like insulting them!

Los Cristianos

And so to the matter of a taxi back. Having now walked 4 miles – I should interject here and say that there have been questions as to the accuracy of my measurements/app. Knowing that this was the case, I actually put our hotel into Apple Maps and asked for directions back to it from where we were in Los Cristianos – it really was 4 miles. We decided to head inland a little as there aren’t many taxi ranks on the beach. Unfortunately, some of my blister protection – interjecting once again, have you ever heard of ‘Compeed’? They are wonderful things that are specially designed for blisters. You put them over the blister and get instant relief and protection. They go a vivid white where the actual blister is which I don’t quite know how happens, but I am now the owner of the greater white spotted foot! Back to the blister protection, it has rubbed off. We had never intended to walk this far, so it wasn’t a great surprise.

Brillant sign! Is it open for the rest of the staff on other days?

We popped into another Pharmacy and I once again procured more Compeed for ‘ampollas’, (they also do them for corns, bunions etc., and you really do want the right ones!). Having applied these I felt a renewed lease of life. We decided to walk on a little and see what the town of Los Cristianos was like. As you do, we got carried away taking in the sights, sounds and smells and in chatting and, before we knew it, we had walked almost all of the way back. In the end we thought it was pointless getting a taxi now, so we walked back to the hotel. 8 miles covered in one afternoon!

Captain Clarke blames me for speaking in the wrong direction … I am not so sure. On our way back we saw a couple of people on what looked like scooters, but they had gears. No engine that was visible, but gears. I mentioned this to Captain Clarke and he said, “What? They’ve got ears?”, I said no and that it was gears, to which he replied, “I can’t see any ears, what are you on about?”. Hmm, is an ear trumpet imminent?! Talking of slight impediments, only those of you that have ever watched Benedorm will know what I am talking about here, but they have these new, electrically powered, tricycle type things here. 2 seaters which seem to be everywhere, (I will try and obtain a discrete photo). They drive on the pavements, rather like motability scooters, but they are quick, silent and dangerous. However, for the Benedorm fans amongst us – Madge, eat your heart out! I shan’t be hiring one of those – I already walk like a demented hunch back with muscles that have given up working, blisters that keep on blistering and my belly dangling down like a pot bellied pig! It’s RudyMenTerry!