Once again Rudy has arisen …

It’s been a while! Actually it’s been quite a long while! The last time I had need to report was in June 2023, but that was only a very brief report from the sunny Marrakech where I was attending a conference. Today, I find myself reporting on another epic adventure. We, Captain Clarke and I, are on a journey from Redhill to Sitges in Spain … by train. Let me start from the beginning. It is my birthday – or at least it will be in a few days. And as it is one of those birthdays that one might not want to advertise too heavily, we are ‘getting away from it all in Spain.

Now I should explain, firstly, we are not alone. Mind you, since the majority of those with us are readers of my missives, they will already know what has happened. It all started about six months ago when we were discussing the fact that I had a birthday approaching (50+VAT) and Bren and Cathy were round having a drink (unusually!). “What are you going to do for your birthday?”, they asked. I explained that I had been thinking about hiring a big house in Wales (don’t ask me why Wales!) for the weekend and having a jolly good birthday bash. The problem was that the price for decent sized house was anything between £6,000 and £9,000 for the weekend! Much as I love my friends, I wasn’t going to pay that kind of money!!

So, Cathy asked, “If you could do anything for your birthday, what would it be?”. I thought for about a nanosecond and then said “I’d go to the chicken shack!” The chicken shack is actually a restaurant called La Oca in Sitges that sells really nice spit roast chicken and really cheap rosé wine that is fine by the third bottle! But it is somewhere I love in a town that I love, so that’s where I would really like to be. So, next came a discussion about the practicalities of doing that. I didn’t want to fly. I fly all the time for work, I wanted to do it differently. Captain Clarke and I have ‘done’ the train to Sitges a number of times, so we thought that might be rather nice. A relaxing way of getting to Sitges with a few friends.

I found a house to rent in Sitges and invited Bren, Cathy, Don, Martin and Richard’s parents. So I rented the house and set about looking at trains. Although Captain Clarke and I have done it all in one hit a few times, we thought it might be better to break the journey in Paris overnight as we were taking some octogenarians with us (actually one nonagenarian). We couldn’t book the trains yet as you can only book them three months in advance, so we had to hang on. I found a hotel in France and booked that for the overnight, so we felt we were getting somewhere. Then we realised we had forgotten to invite Fran and Iain!!! A fundamental error, not just because we had forgotten to invite them but also because there weren’t enough rooms in the house! They kindly said they would stay in a nearby hotel if we could find one, so that was what we did.

I procured an additional room in Paris and then, when tickets became available, I booked the trains. A Thameslink from Redhill direct to London St Pancras, a Eurostar from London to Paris, a quick hop across Paris on the RER (for which I already had tickets, or at least thought I did!) and then overnight in Paris at the Gare de Lyon, hop onto the train to Barcelona in the morning and finally a short train ride from Barcelona to Sitges. What could possibly go wrong? I bought the rail tickets from Redhill to London, I had the Eurostar tickets, I had the RER tickets in a ‘carnet’ that I had bought some while ago, I had the Paris to Barcelona tickets, all we had to do was make our way to Redhill.

Bren organised a taxi from Godstone to Redhill. It was agreed that for ease of logistics, I would take Captain Clarke to his parents in Forest Row early in the morning, then come back, park in Bren and Cathy’s drive to give the house sitter free run of our drive, and we would take the taxi to Redhill. Easy!

What I didn’t plan for was getting an email from Eurostar at lunchtime the day before saying “Sorry, due to unforeseen strike action, your train is cancelled”! I couldn’t believe it, panic set in and I was thinking of all the different ways I might still get us to Paris the following evening. Eventually some common sense kicked in and I thought that they must be running some services on the Eurostar so I phoned the special group bookings line. “Sorry,” the lady said when I got through, “you can’t change your booking this close to departure”! I took a deep breath and explained “I am not departing, you have cancelled my train!” Eventually she said she would look at other options. I pointed out that the train three hours after our original booking was showing space and she reluctantly agreed to rebook us onto that train.

So, with a new booking, I set about telling everyone about the change in time. The taxi had to be changed, Fran and Iain were getting a lift to Redhill so they needed to know. The pickup time for Richard’s parents needed changing. Don would be staying overnight in Redhill (we were full with the house sitter and Martin staying), so we needed to contact him. What a nightmare! So, having done all of that we got up in the morning with a spring in our step, looking forward to a nice relaxing journey to Sitges.

I set off with Captain Clarke to pickup his parents. The traffic was horrendous! Not only did we have the inevitable road works, we had the worst traffic through East Grinstead we have seen in years! Having picked them up, we made our way to Redhill, more traffic and every red light later, we arrived at Redhill at exactly the time that I should have been arriving in Redhill with Bren, Cathy and Martin in the taxi. Bren was calling saying the taxi driver was getting grumpy (not half as grumpy as I was!) and, having dropped them off in Redhill, I got stuck behind a crane all the way back to Godstone. We eventually got in the taxi and got to Redhill in good time to get our train to St Pancras.

You couldn’t make this up … it was cancelled! Fortunately we only had to wait 20 minutes for the next one but because of the previous cancellation we had to stand all the way to London! I spoke with the very helpful Eurostar staff and explained we were a party of 10 with several octogenarians and they said they would open a special lane for us to go through, which they did. When we got into the terminal it was hell! I had forgotten it was half term and that, combined with the cancelled trains, meant the terminal was packed. Standing room only and we had two hours to wait! I went to the loo and had to queue … for the gents! When I came back I discovered that Bren had launched his coffee all over the floor, so I just stood there thinking ‘have I don’t the right thing here?

We eventually took our seats on the Eurostar and got to Paris a few minutes late. The restaurant had been changed from 7.30pm to 8.00pm but that was now looking challenging! Captain Clarke took his parents by taxi and I took the rest of the party to the RER. I handed out the tickets and then discovered that the flaming things had expired! All that planning!! So I went to a machine and tried to procure new ones. It wouldn’t accept my contactless payment and my card was I my case being looked after by Fran, so Don used his card and we finally had RER tickets. We made our way to the platform and the packed train pulled in. As it is only two stops, I suggested that we just stand in the doorway, which we did.

We arrived in Gare de Lyon and exited through the gates to the main station. Or at least most of us did. Cathy got through the gates but her bag didn’t! There she was stood there with the handle in her hand and the bag on the other side of the gates. She was trying to call people to use that gate and, although I did try to explain that if they put their tickets in, the gates would open and she would probably get her bag back, but that they wouldn’t get through the gate, so they would be rather reluctant to do that! Eventually a very nice girl came along and took the bag back through the gates and handed it to me around the side. Latest problem averted!

We walked through the station to the other side where I was totally convinced the hotel was. We were staying in the Mercure and that hotel that I thought it was, is the Novotel. I swear that was a Mercure the last time I was in Gare de Lyon!!! I called Captain Clarke to see if he had arrived but they were stuck in traffic. So I went to the Novotel to ask where the Mercure was (they are part of the same group!) and found the doors were locked. There was a sign saying that if the doors were locked you could press the bell and someone would let you in. After what seemed like an age, they did let me in. I walked up to the bar and tried to gain the attention of one of the three members of staff who were just stood talking and who totally ignored me!

Eventually, Captain Clarke called to say he was at the hotel. He was going to settle his parents into reception and then we would try and rendezvous. I ran across Gare de Lyon about 64 times, I tried every entrance and exit I could find, but I couldn’t find the hotel! Eventually I found Captain Clarke and then the hotel. I then had to find my way back to the rest of the party who were waiting for me. I asked Captain Clarke to change the restaurant booking from 8pm to 9pm and eventually found everyone else. I now knew the quickest route back to the hotel and so guided them up the escalator to the concourse in hall 2. What could go wrong?

I was stood at the top of the escalator when before my eyes Cathy arrived, sat on the floor! It was like a slow motion cartoon, I knew exactly what was going to happen next and it did! Cathy hit the top of the escalator and came to a complete stop. Bren was behind her and so, as she had stopped, he came to an abrupt stop and fell on top of her. Martin was behind Bren and, although he tried to avoid the pile up, there was nowhere for him to go and he fell on top of them! Chaos ensued and fortunately, station staff arrived very quickly, stopped the escalator, we managed to pick Cathy up which then freed Bren to get up and subsequently Martin. Fortunately, no-one was hurt and we all managed to get to the hotel without any more problems.

We made our way to the restaurant, which was on the opposite side of the square to the hotel and eventually enjoyed an OK meal at typical Parisian prices! Back at the hotel Bren, Cathy and I decided to have a nightcap – it had been a long day! Alas, the bar was shut!!! So, to bed we went and stayed in a room that was so hot it made a sauna look positively cold! Captain Clarke and I had virtually no sleep but got up this morning determined that today couldn’t be quite so stressful. We actually went to the station and found the platforms and then timed how long it would take us to walk back … slowly. So we knew we had plenty of time.

We all met up for breakfast (well all of us but Don) at 8am, giving us plenty of time to get to the station. When Don hadn’t appeared by 8.20am I began to worry. If Don says he will arrive at 8am he will arrive at 8am, not a minute early and not a minute late. I had already sent him a text message but he hadn’t answered, so I rang him. It turns out that not all of his devices automatically switched to continental time and when I rang him he said “but it’s only 20 past seven”. I pointed out that it was actually 20 past eight and he said he would be with us in 6 minutes. He was with us in 6 minutes!

So, we made our way to the station to get on the train to Barcelona. That is where I am sitting writing this missive. We got on it! Just!!! After everything that went wrong yesterday, surely nothing could go wrong today. Captain Clarke explained that we were a party of 10 and that we had a number of octogenarians with us and the staff looked at our tickets and then opened the barrier for us to get through. We got onto the platform and I looked at the tickets for the coach number and seat numbers. They aren’t on the tickets!!! Eventually we found a very helpful SNCF man who scanned the bar codes on each ticket and told us what seat numbers we had. They can print the bar code but not the flaming seat numbers!!!! So, we eventually made it onto the train and, apart from the fact that a family had decided to use mine and Captain Clarke’s seats because they wanted to sit together, so we had to take their seats which weren’t near to everyone else as I had planned, today has not gone too badly!

Having arrived in Barcelona it was just a simple matter of procuring some tickets to Sitges and getting a train. It couldn’t go that smoothly!!! Having found a ticket machine that would dispense tickets to Sitges (not all do!), I switched the language from Catalan to a language I could understand better and tried to purchase 10 tickets. Alas, nothing is that straight forwards. The machine asked me for my card and only did contactless. Having done the contactless bit, it asked for my PIN number. Whenever I put the PIN number in it cancelled the transaction!! Don tried his card, but to the same result. It didn’t offer any other method of payment, there was no slot to put the card into so we cancelled the transaction altogether. I tried once again and this time it offered me the opportunity to pay by cash or card, since card didn’t work, I finally fed it some cash and, hey presto, 10 tickets were dispensed.

Our only challenge now, was to get the train. Firstly, having spent six and a half hours on the train Captain Clarke’s mother decided she needed the loo! Then Cathy decided she needed the loo! So off they trotted to the loo just before our train was due to depart. We all stood on the concourse waiting for them to return and, when they did, we had the challenge of getting down onto the platform. Another escalator – what could go wrong!!! Bren decided to carry both his and Cathy’s bags, but when he reached the bottom called her to collect her bag. Thus the queue of people on the escalator were desperately trying not to reach the bottom which was blocked by two people and their bags! Fortunately, after a lot of shouting from those of us on the escalator, another accident was averted!

The train to Sitges turned out to be late, so we waited on the platform for it to arrive. When the train arrived we all got on and several people vacated their seats so that others could sit. The rest of us stood and, although the train was slow, we eventually arrived in Sitges. We walked down from the station and, although Captain Clarke decided to go completely the wrong way, we waited until he had worked that out and walked to our house. Having got into the house and been given a warm welcome by Erika, we left to take Fran and Iain to their hotel. They checked in with no problems and we all agreed to meet at 8.30pm in a nearby restaurant where I had booked a table for 10 on the way to the hotel.

Captain Clarke and I discussed our options for getting to the restaurant and decided that we would procure a taxi to take his parents and Bren and Cathy to the restaurant to save them having to climb the steps to the church and down again to the restaurant, (the Argentinian Steak Restaurant). When the taxi arrived I paid the driver to take them to the restaurant and the rest of us walked. Having arrived in the restaurant, we discovered that Bren had also paid the taxi driver! He had been paid twice!!!! We enjoyed the meal, most had steak, with the exception of Captain Clarke who didn’t have steak and had lasagne instead which turned out to be not very pleasant! When we left the restaurant, Martin took an unopened bottle of water with him. We were just leaving when the waiter appeared and told us we couldn’t take the bottle with us. Martin was incensed at the fact that we had paid for the water and weren’t allowed to take it with us. We had just paid almost €450 and we couldn’t take the water we had paid for! Ho hum, just another little incident.

This morning we have arisen, been out and procured breakfast, and feasted well. We shall be taking a leisurely walk around town. Who knows what the next incident will be, but I am fairly sure that there will be one! Just watch this space!!!!