And so, to sleep …

I think not!

It is that time again. Almost time for RudyMenTerry to return to his slumber for another few months but, before we depart, one last update on events. So, yesterday, (because it is now Sunday morning), we walked around Costa Adeje for one last time. We walked down Calle Ernesto Sarti, (the street in which we have resided for the past 10 days), past the tacky gift shops, (there a few down this street), past ‘Probably the Best Bar in Tenerife’ – I think not, this is where I thought I heard a karaoke singer a few nights ago that turned out to be the paid act! – and onwards down to the prom by the beach. We walked past the sand sculpture that I was so impressed by yesterday and discovered that it had been destroyed. I don’t know why, or by whom, it could have been the creators who were fed up of guarding it, or some drunken yob, I have no idea, but it was a sad sight to see.

Pata Negra is closed on Saturdays!

We had decided to go to Pata Negra for lunch, only to discover when we got there that it is shut on Saturdays, (only in Spain!). So we decided to use Trip Advisor to find us a tapas bar for lunch. It recommended ‘Manolos’, just 800m away, so we duly followed the instructions on how to get there. We have used Trip Advisor to find restaurants three times on this trip. The first, ‘Sebastian’s’, we discovered after a long and arduous walk, was permanently shut. The next, ‘Carlos’ was nowhere to be found, but the third, ‘Manolos’, we found perfectly – it is an empty concrete patio that shows signs of once having had something to offer! Trip Advisor has not been good for finding things. It is fine if one wants to find out what others think of a place, (assuming that they haven’t employed cheap sub-continental labour to submit hundreds of great reviews … as if!), but useless for actually finding somewhere to go!

Captain Clarke’s Sea Bream

As a consequence of Trip Advisor’s failure, we found ourselves once more near to the prom by the beach, but with nowhere that attracted us for lunch. Then we looked down and saw a beach restaurant. There was a big dish of paella outside, (not that we would have eaten that), and it looked quite good. We decided to give it a go. Captain Clarke had a stunning fresh sea bream that had been caught that morning, (or that was what the ‘dueño’, [owner], told us), washed down by the usual gin. I had Pollo Adeje, (chicken cooked Adeje style which turned out to be slightly spicy and very good indeed), accompanied by my usual ‘tonica sin gin’, (tonic without gin). Now, before you lot out there who think I only eat chicken put that sanctimonious, ‘of course he did‘, look on your faces – this was the first chicken I had eaten since the Monday before we left the UK, so I don’t always eat chicken!

That illusive sunset!

We actually enjoyed a really good lunch in this beach restaurant which, unfortunately, I don’t know what was called. Captain Clarke’s sea bream was delicious, as was my chicken – which turned out to be a good thing as I shall explain shortly! Having enjoyed a good lunch, we decided to return to our hotel and enjoy the last afternoon on the balcony. This we did and, at sunset, I had one last go at that illusive sunset photograph, but frankly, I know it isn’t up to muster! Oh well, let us see what comes back from Cochin in the next few weeks!

There are some tacky gift shops in Costa Adeja

Now, we didn’t want to get into the whole ‘Goodbye’ thing by going somewhere we had been before for dinner on our last night. It can be quite embarrassing and they always want to ply you with booze which is never going to be good the night before you fly! So, we decided to go somewhere we hadn’t been before. Captain Clarke fancied some pasta, so we decided to find another Italian. Now, before you all start screaming at your screens, I know I said that all the good Italian cooks had left Italy and setup their own restaurants, well Restaurant Hawai, (yes, that is who they spell it!), must have missed out when they all left. We have had some stunning food on this trip; Conejo a la Canaria, Solomillo con Salsa Bearnaise, Dorada a la Plancha, Pollo Adeje, to name just a few. We have also had some pretty rank food, (remember the steak that had been cooked on a cold grill?), but this meal took the biscuit! It was truly disgusting. In fact, it ranks up there as one of the worst meals I have ever had!

Lunch v. Dinner – no contest!

Captain Clarke ordered ‘Penne Bolognese’ and I ordered ‘Penne Arabiatta’, (as you may know I have a bit of a taste for spice). How can you possibly get this wrong? Any idiot can knock up a bolognese and an arabiatta is only a tomato reduction with garlic and chilli! Now, please bear in mind this is an Italian restaurant run by Italian people. The penne was massively overcooked. It was slimey and revolting. My arabiatta sauce tasted like, (and I think it probably was), tomato soup that had had chilli sauce added to it and sliced raw garlic chucked in. Captain Clarke said his bolognese probably use the same base, but just had minced beef chucked in it instead of chilli sauce and raw garlic. It was horrendous! Neither of us ate the whole dish, it was horrible.

I should explain at this point that when we had arrived there was a table at the very front of the restaurant that was ‘reserved’. The owner took the ‘reserved’ sign away with a flourish and said, “I can move these people, please take this table!”. This is an old restaurant trick to make you feel special, but really to put people into a table that will make the place look good. He was hoping we would indulge in a long, three course, meal with wine and trimmings that would make his restaurant look good. As it was, we ordered one dish and no wine – I was just saying to Captain Clarke that we would be served very quickly because he would want us out of that table as quickly as possible to put a ‘better’ customer on it, when the food arrived. Before even tasting it, I could see it was not good. Having tasted it, I knew it was really bad!

Lingering over a coffee!

Since I knew he was trying to turn the table as quickly as possible, I decided that despite the disgusting food, we would linger. No sooner than we had put down our forks, (having only eaten less than half the plate of food), the waiter was there, “have you finished Señor?”. He whisked the plates away before we could catch breath! As a consequence, and despite not really wanting to spend a moment longer in this disgusting restaurant, (Trip Advisor review coming soon!), we ordered coffees and lingered over drinking these before finally asking for the bill. I could swear that the waiter skipped when I asked for the bill!! He was there like a shot, credit card machine in hand just in case that was how I was paying! We paid the bill and left. If you happen to be Costa Adeje, don’t bother going to the Restaurant Hawai – it is not worth the breath of saying it!

And so this is it. I sit here on our final morning. We are packed, our flight is on its way, (currently at 36,025 feet, travelling at 404kts over the Bay of Biscay, it is an Airbus A320, first registered on the 4th June 2009 with registration G-EZTF – amazing what you can do nowadays!), we are due to leave the hotel in about an hour. We have had a good 10 days here and would definitely return to the South of Tenerife again. Costa Adeje is definitely the better part and, although our hotel has been under permanent German occupation for the entire duration, Zena and Simon’s hotel is only a five minute walk away, (I can see it from here!), and it is a lovely hotel. We also discovered a couple of other good hotels, so we will know what to look for next time. It is time now, though, for RudyMenTerry to return to his slumber until the next trip. No-one, not even me, can keep up this kind of writing all the time. So, until next time, we hope you have enjoyed our missives. We will, of course, share more on the next occasion, it is, after all, RudyMenTerry!