It was the Tiffin wot did it!

Enjoying a glass of wine in the Fort Cochin restaurant!

Captain Clarke and I have continued to be engaged in what we are now calling the ‘India Weight Loss Programme’. I can thoroughly confirm that on this programme you will experience weight loss! In fact, try not losing weight. We have been discussing the possible causes of our predicament. Fortunately, neither of us actually feel ill but we both have to plan our day around access to ‘facilities’. First we said, is it the ice? But it can’t be the ice because a) the only places we have had ice were in hotels where the ice is confirmed as being made from bottled water and not from tap and b) we have hardly had any. This must be one of the driest holidays we have ever been on – last night I had one scotch in a bar and a glass of wine with dinner and woke up with a hangover! Frankly, I’m a little ashamed. Our hotel here in Kochi doesn’t serve spirits so on the first night I only had couple of glasses of wine (you can’t afford more than that here and then only if you drink Indian wine!), so no ice at all and there have been a couple of nights when due to my predicament I haven’t had anything at all, so it isn’t the ice. Next we thought about things we have handled. In our information pack it does warn against handling money but we have been scrupulous in using sanitising gel whenever we have handled money. Then I mentioned that it has been almost a week for me and that I had first had a problem after we had enjoyed Tiffin on the Terrace at the beautiful RajMahal Palace in Jaipur. I hadn’t mentioned this because Captain Clarke has a bit of a history of not liking afternoon tea, so I didn’t want to give him ammunition to say something. When I mentioned it, however, he didn’t come out with his usual diatribe about why he doesn’t like afternoon tea, instead he said that he had felt a little dodgy too. We think now that we have pretty much nailed it as the cause and that the reason it is taking so long to settle down is that it is a bug rather than a dose of ‘Delhi belly’ which all makes perfect sense so, we have decided ‘It was the Tiffin wot did it!’.

The hotel car! You can’t not love India!

Back to more interesting stuff. Last night we went to the wonderful Fort Cochin for dinner. We actually stopped at the bar next door for pre-dinner drinks and thought they were so nice and it looked so clean that we are going to go back there for dinner tonight. Fort Cochin lived up to its long standing reputation however and we had a fantastic meal (me prawns and buttered naan which is, in my opinion, mandatory and Captain Clarke a Keralan Chicken Curry which he reported to be equally delicious!). Total price of our meal, including a glass of wine for myself and a Kingfisher Ultra for Captain Clarke? Just shy of £16! By far the cheapest meal we have had so far! We had a great evening. Adjacent to us was a big party of Indians who were celebrating a birthday. They were having a great time and, at the appropriate moment, the lights were dimmed, they all sang Happy Birthday (or a sorts) to the Birthday Girl and then produced a cake with candles. The candles were blown out and the cake shared amongst them and every other diner in the restaurant!

Loads of market stalls in the day market.

Now, what about today? Well after the serious credit card accident of yesterday, today has been a quiet day. We arose at about 8.30 hours and had a leisurely breakfast before heading out to walk the 3 minutes to the nearest cash machine. That turned out not to exist, so we walked quite a way before we eventually found one. We got some cash (sanitised hands) and headed back via a pharmacy for more Imodium. This time it is Imodium by name but the price is ridiculously cheap. In the UK it is something like £6 for 6 tablets, here it was more like 50p for 12 tablets! Today has been hot and humid. Actually, Kochi really feels hot and humid compared to elsewhere we have been. There are far more mosquitos here than we have encountered anywhere else and we have both been bitten. I procured some bands from the Internet before we came which claimed to eliminate the need to use Deet. Since Deet is so horrible in both smell and the fact that if you have it on your hands and touch the telly remote control it will melt it, that I thought they were worth a try. Up until this point they have worked brilliantly with not one bite, but we have both been bitten a couple of times in Kochi which I suspect is down to the heat and humidity.

Lunchtime drinks in the hotel garden were we spotted the Indian Kingfisher. (Not the one being consumed by Captain Clarke, the bird!)

Having obtained cash, we had a wander around the market and a few streets that we have never seen before. Down one particular street there was an English actress (I don’t know here name) sitting outside a beautiful flower shop with a film crew and lots of extras milling around. We watched for a couple of minutes as they were setting up the scene but were then evicted from the area whilst it was shot. No idea what it is for, but it was a bit of fun. During our stroll we happened across the shop where Lionel Blair had a shirt made when he was in Kochi for the Real Marigold Hotel. There is a huge sign with a photo of Lionel Blair that says, “Lionel Blair’s Shirt Shop”. I guess they are quite proud. We then happened across the Catholic Church that we had visited on our first visit to Kochi when we had a guided tour. I never realised it is less than a 5 minute walk from the Brunton Boat Yard – we went by a circuitous route by car when we went there! It was all very pleasant.

The Brunton Boat Yard – there is something special about that hotel!

Returning to our hotel at lunch time we decided that we weren’t hungry for food and just fancied a drink. I had a lime soda (I have become quite fond of these on this trip) and Captain Clarke had a Kingfisher Ultra. Talking of Kingfishers, we saw a beautiful Indian Kingfisher by the pond in the garden of the hotel. Unfortunately it flew away when a rather loud party of French people walked over to photograph it. What was equally amazing was that they were wondering what it was and when Captain Clarke leant across and explained to them, in French, what it was and what its name is in French they didn’t seem the slightest bit surprised! We then took a rest in our room before popping out to buy some spices from the same shop we had our credit card accident in yesterday. Having collected together some spices we were presented with a bill of almost £100. This was rejected out of hand and we said we were very disappointed at the price when we could buy the hole lot vastly cheaper in England. Following a further discussion we agreed on a price of £20 which, if I’m honest, I still don’t think is cheap but at least we got the spices and didn’t get totally ripped off!

Sorry? Does that sign say No Parking?

Walking back to our hotel, I wondered whether Lionel Blair’s tailor might do alterations. I don’t think I have mentioned that we had a couple of pairs of linen trousers made for me and a couple of shirts for Captain Clarke in Jaipur. As seems to be the case usually, they turned up really late on the night before we left. Although the trousers fit OK in the most part, they had made the waist size way too big (by about 6 inches) and, even with a belt they were constantly threatening to fall down! We called in to enquire. We were met by a very nice lady who said yes they could. I explained that we are leaving in the morning and that it would have to be done tonight. No problem. So we went back to our hotel and collected them. We took them back and she beckoned me to the back of the shop so that she could see. I assumed we were going to a changing room, but actually we were going to the sales counter where there were other English customers buying shirts. Oh well, I’m not proud! I dropped my shorts and put the trousers on. She thought the size was quite amusing but said she could fix it. OK, I said, when can I pick them up. In about 45 minutes was the reply. We duly returned to find two pairs of trousers altered an fitting perfectly now. Price? £6 for the two! I think Lionel Blair got a bargain!!

Captain Clarke and some birthday cake!

Really, today there isn’t much more to say. I am typing this on Captain Clark’s laptop as mine seems to have had a catastrophic failure and won’t turn on. It is always strange using a different keyboard, so please excuse any typos. We popped into the Brunton Boat Yard this afternoon for a drink. Captain Clarke asked for a gin and tonic only to be told they don’t do hard liquor anymore! I am not sure if this was because we were non-resident or it is the case, but in any event my lime soda was very good and so was Captain Clarke’s. We sat for a little while and watched the harbour. I have to admit that I have some regret that we didn’t stay at the Brunton Boat Yard. There is nothing wrong with our hotel – far from it – and we have had a great time in Kochi, but there is something almost magical about the Brunton Boat Yard which would have been good to get too. I understand Captain Clarke’s reasons for choosing our hotel and I totally support that but the Brunton Boat Yard will always have a special place in my heart! Tomorrow we leave early (don’t we always!) for the airport and off to Mumbai. Whilst it will be sad to leave Kochi, we are looking forward to seeing what Mumbai has to offer too! For now though, must dash, the mozzies are out and we need to go for dinner! It is, after all, RudyMenTerry.