It’s still a building site!

I guess the first thing to say is that we made it! For all those with ‘range anxiety’ or worries about whether a fully electric car is really practical, it is. Throughout the entire journey we have had absolutely no problems with charging stations, availability or reliability, they have all been fine. The biggest problem we have had with charging was this morning. Firstly, our SatNav directed us to a Tesla charging station which is no good for a car other than a Tesla, then we found a charging station and the cable was too short. I had to turn the car around and face the wrong way in order to plug it in. Hardly a hardship! So we charged up and drove the final hour or so to Monaco. Needless to say there was a huge queue to get into Monaco but there always is. One thing about Monaco is that it is nothing if not predictable. There is always a queue to get into Monaco and there is always a queue to get out! So, after 1,539km, we arrived in Monaco and, after negotiating the predictably horrendous traffic and roads, we parked under the Grimaldi Forum which is where I shall be speaking tomorrow. There is virtually no parking in Monaco but the Grimaldi Forum is always reliable and there are spaces.

There is a huge sea reclamation project happening in Monaco which has been going on for years and will be for years! Work is proceeding at quite a pace, the old promenade has completely changed since the last time I was here three years ago (I am not convinced for the better) and the sea view from the Grimaldi Forum will very soon be a view of the new buildings that are being built in front of it on the newly reclaimed land. The way in which Monaco has dealt with all of this work is to paint the hoardings with a scene representing the sea. It doesn’t hide the building work but I suppose it is marginally better than leaving them plain! My first meeting after arriving was outside the Grimaldi Forum. A complete waste of time with someone who wants the law changed to suit his design ideas. Captain Clarke accompanied me and then withdrew to a discrete distance whilst I talked to this Dutch time waster. He kept arguing that he didn’t want to join an organisation which was dominated by American owned businesses. I explained that the industry is dominated by American owned businesses and it is those businesses that have paved the way for businesses like his to exist. He then told me that my view didn’t really matter for him because the UK Brexited. At which point I decided that I have better things to do with my time so I told him that the European Data Centre Association is not for him and that he would be better looking elsewhere. I left for my next meeting which was in the Café de Paris which is right by the Casino in Monte Carlo. Captain Clarke and I trudged up the hill and steps to get up there where I eventually met the person I had arranged to meet from an American owned data centre company. He decided that he would like to join the European Data Centre Association and pay an additional premium of €50,000 to become an Associate Member. I liked him better!

Having finished both meetings, we walked back down to the waterfront and along the newly updated promenade (where there used to be an eclectic range of bars and restaurants it is now all glass fronted buildings that all look the same … in my view much of the character has gone) where we did our best to avoid bumping into any data centre folk along the way. We walked to the Monte Carlo Bay Hotel which is the hotel I have stayed in most on my previous 20 visits here. This year they wanted £1,600 a night so we are not staying there! We are in the Miramar Hotel which, as the name might suggest, overlooks the port with its many, many very expensive yachts and launches. It is about a 15 minute walk from where we are parked and it was a bit of a chore walking along the very narrow walkways (they are currently preparing for the 2022 Monaco e-Prix which takes place on Saturday so that pavements are much reduced) with our cases in the very warm sunshine. No, really, it was a bit of a chore!!

And so, as I mentioned, they are preparing Monaco for the 2022 e-Prix which takes place on Saturday. Fro those wondering (like I was) what an e-Prix is, it is a race exactly like a Grand Prix but with electric cars rather than fuelled cars. The e-cars used look like Formula 1 cars, they perform like Formula 1 cars but they are fully electric. The acceleration on them is mind blowing and the speeds they can reach is incredible. I don’t think I’ll be entering my Audi in the e-Prix any time soon! When Monaco hosts the two ‘Prix’ that it does, the barriers are all installed, the wire fencing to ensure nobody can climb over and onto the race track, the various stands are built for fans to watch from and the entire place becomes slightly different in that pavements give way to barriers leaving very narrow walkways, adverts go up from the sponsors and there is an air of excitement as to how this year’s race will turn out. I have never been in Monaco for the Grand Prix, or indeed the e-Prix which is now in its fifth year but I have usually been here the week after the Grand Prix when they are clearing up, taking the barriers down and putting everything back into storage for another year. The conference is earlier this year than it usually was and typically I am here when they are installing everything rather than taking it down!

One thing that has really surprised us is the amount of Russians still here. Over the last few years there has been a significant increase in Russian money in Monaco but keeping in mind current events, it is more than a little surprising that they are still here! They don’t seem to be slightly concerned or embarrassed at the global situation and just carry on as normal. On the way back to our hotel after the meetings we happened across a rather nice bar called the Monde du Vin. We popped in for a quick one, which turned out to be a long one because it took an age for our order to be taken and even longer for it to be served! Captain Clarke had a Monaco Spritz and I had a Bellini. Captain Clarke said that his Monaco Spritz wasn’t as good as an Aperol Spritz and, frankly, my Bellini was a bit disappointing. I should have had the glass of Provencal Rosé that I was going to choose. It transpires that this was only a warm up for this evening! The two drinks were only about a million pounds for the two! Now, I recognise that Monaco is expensive – it always has been but even I believe there should be a limit!

Yesterday evening, instead of walking all the way back to the Italian restaurant that I had promised, we decided to eat locally. Frankly, all that walking had done for us and we just couldn’t face walking all the way back again. We ate in a restaurant that was almost next door to our hotel. Captain Clarke had Moules Marinière which were apparently not as good as those in Saint Valery but better than the ones served in the Savoy (long story!). I had Escalope de Veau Milanese which was average and not quite as I expected since previously I have had it and it has come with a sauce but, on this occasion, it was simply breaded. For Monaco though, the meal was cheap and the wine, whilst different to anything we have had so far, was drinkable. One pet hate that we have is televisions in restaurants. This particular restaurant was showing a football match between Crystal Palace and Leeds! We couldn’t help but see it and I made a comment that one particular footballer (I have no idea who it was) didn’t seem very good as he kept passing the ball to nowhere and it was being picked up by the other side. I commented to Captain Clarke that that was a reason I am not a footballer. His response (far too quickly!) was “that amongst many other reasons”! I was not impressed!

When we returned to our hotel we asked the receptionist if there was an ice machine. The response was no, but if we wanted ice we could always ask on the rooftop bar. We decided that a drink on the rooftop bar sounded even more appealing so we made our way up. The first thing we discovered was that the rooftop bar was a separate business to the hotel. It can be accessed from the street as well as from the hotel. The second was that it is not what it seems. The waiter appears before you have ordered anything and sets down a ‘towel refresher’ and some water to ‘cleanse the palate’. Next a bowl of crisps are delivered and a bowl of what looked like avocado and truffle. At this point we haven’t actually ordered anything. We said we would like to understand what whiskey they had. Two bottles of 10 year old single malt were produced, neither of which we had ever heard of but both of which looked expensive. We declined these and asked if there was a list of drinks. The waiter re-appeared holding a list and a box of litmus papers and sprays. Apparently we should choose our drink from his sprays. Not at all comfortable with this, we ordered two gin and tonics (eventually!). They came and we drank about half of them before deciding that the rooftop bar was not for us. We got up, walked to the bar and asked for the bill. It arrived at lightening speed and we discovered that these drinks were about a million pounds each! Never before … and never again … will I pay €50 for two gin and tonics we don’t even want and didn’t enjoy (before I knew the price!).

So, today is conference day. I have to be on parade bright and early, I am speaking second on the menu (as it were!). Captain Clarke has a day of leisure without me. I am sure he will use it wisely and hopefully might take the odd snap to add to our missives. I have so far turned down three dinners for this evening, there are bound to be more invites during the day. It isn’t that I don’t want to eat and a free dinner is always welcome but I would rather spend the time with Captain Clarke than a bunch of middle aged men in grey suits talking about data centres! So, for that reason, I will turn down all invitations … it’s RudyMenTerry!